What I didn’t do, because I couldn’t.

(I wrote this post during Holy Week, leading up to Easter.)

I didn’t give up anything for Lent this year.

I couldn’t, in my heart and mind, figure out what to give up, or even why. I mean, I know why, but somehow I didn’t think that me giving up chocolate or sugar again or any other earthly delight would make God want to pat me on the back for my achievement. Because I knew that despite all of my trying to not do something, he could still look right past my good intentions, look past my makeup and (somewhat) done appearance, deep down into my dark and sinful heart and would still know what and who I really am. And thankfully, because Jesus dwells inside of my sinful and dark heart, God would see the darkness turn to light and my sin would no longer be counted against me.

This Lent season has not been without its purpose though. I feel that leading up to this week, I’ve done alot of reflection and prayer of just what this all means anyway. God has been faithful and merciful to begin to show me the depths of the depravity that I really am so that when Easter Sunday comes, I can celebrate the life that dwells within me and know that death no longer has a hold on me.  
I need to learn and to remember that despite my efforts, I need Jesus’ righteousness to be mine because I can’t do it on my own.

A few years ago, Nathan wrote a song that sums it up…

“The Gospel Is All I Have”

The Gospel is all I have, the Gospel is all I have.
No well-kept, presentable life to display.
The Gospel is all I have.

The Gospel is all I have, the Gospel is all I have.
No courage, no virtuous bold use of faith.
The Gospel is all I have.

Well the Lord God Almighty lept down from the sky,
And he made himself nothing and served ’til he died.
So that I just a beggar at the judegement might cry,
“The Gospel is all I have!”

The Gospel is all I have, The Gospel is all I have.
No merit to offer, no excuses to make.
The Gospel is all I have.

Well the Lord God Almighty lept down from the sky,
And he made himself nothing and served ’til he died.
So that I just a beggar at the judegement might cry,
“The Gospel is all I have!”

The Gospel is all I have, The Gospel is all I have.
No clever, persuasive words I could say;
No debt I could work off, no bribe I could pay;
No goodness, no promise of love that won’t fade…

The Gospel is all I have.

(Go here to listen to the MP3, which I also got to sing on.).

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About sarah partain

Mama of two little ones, wife of one awesome one. Believer, daughter, sister, friend. Extrovert.
This entry was posted in Miscellaneous. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to What I didn’t do, because I couldn’t.

  1. Sheila says:

    I didn’t give up anything for Lent this year, either. It seemed like my motivation would be trying to earn favour with God or man.

    I love that song!!!

  2. Katie says:

    I felt the same way this season Sarah. It felt weird, not giving something up, but not wrong. Maybe next year…

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