Today my baby is a year old. It has been a year since she came into the world after three days of labor on and off. What a crazy time it was and yet, I am fond of it and thankful for it.
I am a big day rememberer…as in “Last year, on this DAY…” so yesterday was the day I spent remembering each little detail and last night, I watched the clock until 6:35 came and went and I remembered having her chubby and soft body laid on my chest. I consider her life and her birth miracles, and feel no less amazed or thankful for them than for Amos‘.
The thing I reflected on the most last night was just the pure joy and elation that came from being able to deliver her naturally. Since Amos’ birth was by c-section, this was all new to me. I have been a huge supporter of natural birth, for years, but now have such a new appreciation for anyone that attempts it and gets through it. It was hard, and it hurt. BUT, the amount of joy and relief that I had as I saw her face for the first time is immeasurable. The adrenaline rush and the excitement were both so euphoric that I didn’t feel like I had just had a baby.
I remember the constant smile I had on my face as I called my friends and family to deliver the news, ate my yummy chicken dinner and watched as Flannery screamed through her first bath. I remember feeling no pain, even though there was much to be had (thank you, meds!) but just feeling so so happy and relieved that she was here and that it was over.
And now, as she turns 1, I feel a different joy and relief: joy that she is in our family, that she is my daughter, that she is now part of our daily life will always be. I feel relieved that we made it through the first year, that I made it through recovery and the first few weeks of her life. I didn’t think it would ever end. I am relieved that I know her better and that it’s easier to care for her. Honestly, she was a tough baby for me. I expected an easy going second baby and I got a needy and complicated baby instead. But I don’t hold it against her, I just get excited for when she starts talking so we can know her better.
She is a bright light in our days. We adore her. I am so thankful for my experience with her so far, and pray for many more days together.